How are you building relationships on your team?
meetings and socializing aren't the same thing
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
“Trick or treat!"
A common phrase used on Halloween as kids go door to door in search of candy.
…except for every place I've ever lived.
As an adult, I’ve stood at attention by the door, ready to go with my bowl of candy, only to realize no one was coming.
I'd plop down on my couch, the puff emanating from the cushions an echo of my sigh, then eat half the candy in the bowl to compensate for the deprivation of the anticipated festivities.
As a kid, we didn't live in a neighborhood, so no one came to our door. And there were no doors on which we could knock (We periodically bemoaned the lack of neighborhood feel. I'm not sure my parents were moved).
Your team may be in a similar situation. Many of us are working remotely, flexibly, or at least differently than we were before. And many of us do that because we're reimaging how we do work for the better.
Part of that reimagining needs to include better approaches to building relationships and community, on a personal level in addition to a functional level.
And before you rush off to schedule more meetings, let me remind you that big companies are wasting $100 million per year on useless meetings. And their team wants to skip a third of them.
Tacking some forced conversation onto a meeting or pretending that having more heads in Zoom squares counts as quality relationship building would have been the same as my parents equating knocking on our own door and coming in for the night to a quality Halloween experience.
But thank goodness, they didn’t do that. In fact, they put a lot of effort into Halloween.
We all dressed up (my parents reprised their roles as clowns every year.) Then we went to the homes of family and close friends, all of whom knew we were coming and pulled out all the stops.
We ended up at my grandparent's house — because they do live in a neighborhood — so we also got to answer the door and give out candy. We’d eat pizza, watch movies, and sleep over (a big treat for us).
Because my parents couldn’t fall back on the traditional route of walking around the cul-de-sac, they actually produced something better than knocking on the doors of strangers.
Do the same for your team. It’s easy to look through rose-colored glasses at the office and say, “If we came back, it would be great.”
But that assumes that stale donuts and burnt coffee in the breakroom, alongside the occasional birthday song, were effective.
And more importantly, is that really what we want to strive for?
Invest time in forming relationships so you do it really well.
Start by recognizing that you'll do it better if you focus on doing one thing at a time. Make space for building relationships that stands on its own. Put thought and effort into creating a truly positive experience.
Then determine how you'll nurture the relationships that form.
Let's make something better.
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